Two proven ways to manage negative emotions

The workplace can become a highly emotional place. It is a space where people with different backgrounds and temperaments must work together, bringing out the best in themselves and delivering high-value results. It is a competitive place where people race through their days to climb the professional ladder. The ability to manage negative emotions is both valuable and necessary to ensure long-term professional development.

To this end, each person has their own coping mechanisms depending on their personality type. In general, however, according to Neuro-Linguistic Programming practices, there are two proven ways to manage negative emotions.

First, understand other people’s negative reactions

Whenever you do something, whether good or bad, there are four types of negative reactions from the people around you. They are: placating, blaming, reasoning, and distracting. Recognize them well so that you can understand their thought process and know how to deal with them.

Placating occurs when someone ignores their own feelings and shifts responsibility to you or someone else. Blaming is when someone thinks that whatever happens to them is caused by you. Reasoning is when someone uses logic and rationale to oppose whatever you are communicating. Distracting occurs when someone behaves inappropriately to avoid confrontation, similar to the class clown.

You must understand that those reactions belong to them, not to you. It reflects their mental state, which is based on their values. Evidently, when people react negatively to something or someone, it says a great deal about themselves.

Second, understand moods.

Mood is an emotional state that shifts from one moment to the next depending on various external and internal factors. External elements include the work environment, the people around us, and environmental conditions. Internal factors, however, depend largely on our mental and physical health.

Memories, beliefs, and values combined with stress and external elements can significantly shift our emotional balance. So it is essential that we understand what mood we are in right now and what we can do about it. In the workplace, having an advanced ability to manage emotions can lead to a leadership position.

Carefully observe how you are standing: are you standing up straight or slouching? Are you smiling or frowning? Are your fingers and toes straight or curled? Are you tensing your stomach? Is your mind immersed in many thoughts? Are you doing many things at once, also known as “multitasking”?

Recognize your stress level and your current mood. While it is true that the external environment directly influences our mood, realize that you can take control of your reaction. If you have unintentionally become negative due to a less-than-favorable environment, recognize this as well and regain control to remain positive.

At the end of the day, we are responsible for our own mood, happiness, and positivity, despite other people’s negative reactions and the external environment. Moreover, when we react positively despite the negativity around us, we can help improve the environment and mood of others. The key is to be aware of our own emotional state and understand that others cannot make us angry or sad. We own our own emotions and, ultimately, our own destiny.

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Jose Ruiz is CEO and managing partner of Alder Koten.